I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
