you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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