she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
