I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
