Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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