they need to just BURY HIM!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
