maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
