Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My life is pants optional.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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