so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
