do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
