I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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