It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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