All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
barbara walters just said penis...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She even gives head with a lisp.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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