doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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