Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
