wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
