So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
