You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Randomize
