i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
