Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
