cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
