We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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