I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
