That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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