I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
