Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Houston, we have a squirter
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
