she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
