You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
