i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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