so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
