we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
