STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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