If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
