Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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