Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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