We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
