Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just invented taco cereal.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
