I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
