Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I AM VODKA MAN
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
