the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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