By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Drake has all the answers
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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