Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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