Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
