Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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