but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
