I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
