I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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