Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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