I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize