I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
