miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
